Moving and memories are the topic of this episode of the Over Divorce podcast with Adrian and Tom. The difficulties of packing up and moving are likely to be a major part of anyone’s divorce experience. Tom and Adrian discuss their own issues around moving and the memories associated with the location of their past house and the promise of a new location.
Tom discusses the role of memory and identity as described by Philip K. Dick In a number of movies and stories including Blade Runner, Total Recall, and Minority Report. Tom goes on to describe how Philip K Dick used the collection of memories to define the identity of characters-who they are and what they think of themselves. The hosts go on to reflect on possessions and their meaning relative to an individual’s identity. Adrian proposes (as seen in the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) the possibility of erasing one’s memory completely as a means of getting over the pain and struggle of a divorce. Adrian points out how different kind of memories can put you in different moods as well as how different moods can pull out different memories. He goes on to share how he aggressively removed all the objects the reminded him of his ex to help manage the negative feelings those objects could manifest. The hosts continue to discuss the practicality of second and third marriages as a segue from the usefulness of keeping a collection of photos from the first wedding.
Kids are cited as a reason for taking divorce more seriously and intensely. The hosts discuss the having children and how that creates substantially more difficulty in getting along with your ex.
A transcript of the episode is available here