Making Decisions During Your Divorce
Adrian and Tom open by discussing control. What kind of action that can be taken in the context? Tom discusses the futility of reason and persuasion. Tom and Adrian agree that expediting the goal of the partner leaving, and move to righting yourself. Tom discusses his decision about selling his home. Adrian shares the story go how his father advises him about making the decision right as opposed to making the right decision. Adrian furthers the tactic as a means of breaking out of the victim role. Tom challenges Adrian’s thesis about making the decision right in the context of a bad decision. Adrian counters by reflecting on the “time factor” as it relate to make the decision right.
Tom References The Boxer Rebellions song from The Cold Still “Move On”. Divorce is a major disruption to a live of habits. There is an option to taken new habits and make better decision .Tom references ‘The Decision Book’ and Neil Peart with respect to choosing not to make a decision and in doing so still make a choice. He goes on to reflect on things like food and art and life that had been abandoned and need to be re-adopted in order to re-assert their identity. Tom discusses the OK Cupid questions that can strongly predict potential compatibility. Tom discusses the the problem of decision making at work when you question the core decisions you’ve made regarding
Adrian counters by citing The Dr. Paul Dobransky Mind OS by and the value of learning that comes from decisions– even the most banal decisions can help when times are at their most difficult.
Tom and Adrian discuss the value of list building and self-typing in terms of decision processes. Tom reflects on his Astronauts and Marines model of decision making. Two heroic archetypes that make decisions in completely different ways. Tom postulates ways to determine which group you fall into and what your strengths might be depending on your proclivity.
Adrian adds that regardless of your decision style it’s important to get some insight form an expert to help you getting into the habit of making decisions. Tom reinforces Adrian’s point by referencing the importance of building lists and the power of simply adding a task on the list as a means of moving forward–a key theme of the podcast.
Transcript of the podcast is here: Decisions During Your Divorce